I wonder what would happen if everyone who's in a hard circumstance say saying one step forward two steps back as TWO steps forward ONE step back.....never settling for the defeat of the orginal saying. Face it, with the orginal saying, you're getting no where and fast. But the latter saying.....
You're getting places, slowly, but you are moving forward and not in reverse.
We have a home ministry called Outreach of Hope Ministries. We host home group church meetings in eachother's homes ( till we get a more central public place like a store front maybe), we minister to those who have hit rock bottom, those who are sick, those who are just searching for more. God has us serve others as Christ came to serve.
A few days ago ( on Sunday), we met at a newly started 'coffee shop church' ( i find that so funny seeing that coffee seems to be the main 'dish' of all our our meetings) instead of our home. This new church ( Element 3) is out of Tallahassee Florida and felt God saying it was time to expand. So we went to show our support, and of course the coffee ;-)
Now Justin is used to everyone in the ministry now, he hardly ever has issues now and all the other children with in the ministry know how to react to and with him should problems accurr. I honestly didn't think about the fact this was going to be 'different' for Justin, something new, with more people, different people, a little cramped in some ways and prossibly even louder than we are at home. I felt so horrible for him!
We go there early which is great. We are either VERY early or we're showing up a little late and unorganized. But this time we got there early and Justin was okay, talking to those who spoke to him first. Grant it was very off topic but the fact that he was talking to the other ministers at all is a plus in my book.....
Our Two steps forward!
Well more poeple come pouring in, the shop kept getting smaller and smaller it seemed. And I started noticing Justin's hands were starting to stay in his pockets and he's looking a bit zombie like, almost scared. Well we go to find our seats and get our coffee ( haha i love that, drinking coffee while enjoing the presence of Jesus and praising His name-makes me wonder, Did Jesus have a cup of joe from time to time? ) and Justin is practicly attached to my hip and will not leave my 'touch'. I don't think he would have minded at this point if I picked him up and sat him on my hip at 9 yrs old. My baby boy is about to panic I do believe.
I asked Justin if he was okay and he didn't say a word, just shifted his eyes to mine. He didn't even nod his head yes or no to me and his hands were still in his pockets. I asked him if he was getting nervous, and as soon as the last word left my mouth he nodded yes and took his left hand out of his pocket and began to twist his hair and this new thing he's started....sucking in his cheecks to bite on them, not chew, just hold the inside of his cheecks bewteen his teeth.
So I back up against the wall in the chair, I was sitting sideways with the back of the chair under my arm and my back against wall, and motioned for Justin to come sit on the chair between my legs. I knew if I could make him feel at ease I could head off a melt down, but he's too big to actualy sit on my lap so we shared the chair and I held him. Only he wouldn't sit back up against me this time, he went forward and laid on the table in front of him. And got as still as a statue, not singing, not clapping, nothing.....
This is very odd for me to see. We just attended a hugh 2 day event of concerts for a local ministry called Inside Out Nation. And Justin got some freedom while there! He praised and worshiped and DANCED! He even went upfront in front of everyone and took pictures, and we were AT the stage! He was just amazing that weekend. So for this to happen was nothing short of disturbing for this mama's heart.
Our One step back.....
The entire time, I had to rub Justin's back, I sang the songs to him, hugged him often and eventualy he sank closer to me and I ened up holding him with him laying on my arm then table. The moment the pastor ened, Justin made a B-line for the door. Once he was outside away from everyone he was back to normal, only he kept his hands in his pockets for a while longer.
Its times like during Inside Out that I see the progress and my heart is flooded with joy! Its times like Sunday that make me question so many things. Should I have pushed him to come? Did I really see him get freedom that weekend? Will Justin ever be able to break free forever? Are we regressing now? Am I doing right by my son?
I know he has these problems that are so over whelming for him that things like this happen. But I can't allow him to stay in that fear his whole life. I know this will never go away, but I can't help but say "But I have to try".....I push Justin cause every now and then we get a breakthrough, even if for just a short amount of time, we get a breakthrough.
I can promise Justin this, no matter what I ask of him, I will never him to do it on his own. I will always be there for him and the moment it goes from uncomfortable to detrimental, we're outa there. I promise to encourage him to push his limits all the while I will be there by his side to help him through it. I promise to rejoice with him in success, so extend my hand when he falls, to pick him up and encourage him to try again.
Thats a lot like the promise God has made us. when Jesus left this earth to sit at the right hand of God He didn't leave us on our own, He left us with the Holy Spirit to guide and encourage us, to always be there in good times and bad.
I will leave you with this for now. Thank you again for reading, God Bless You!
May God give you...
For every storm, a rainbow,
For every tear, a smile,
For every care, a promise,
And a blessing in each trial.
For every problem life sends,
A faithful friend to share,
For every sigh, a sweet song,
And an answer for each prayer.
~~Abbey
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Let's play catch up.....
Hello again,
There's several years of catching up to do here. I'll do my best to catch you up in a short amount of time.
When Justin was born, he was so very healthy! Beautiful in every way a coned-headed baby boy who scared us into think he was coming every 3 to 4 days for 9 weeks while his daddy was in the police academy and couldn't get to me could be! HAHA yes I called him cone-head...the very first words I ever said to him was 'OH look at your little coned-head!" with tears in my eyes, I kissed my new born baby boy and told him 'Shh, Mama's here baby'...and as though he understood, he stopped crying and just let me hold him. He was perfect.
When Justin turned 7 weeks old he was already drinking 8oz of formula around every 3 hrs or so. He had a very healthy hunger for that stuff! i couldn't breastfeed him because I had to go back on my Viox ( before it was recalled) and it was very unsafe for him to have, being that it would have passed through to him. Like I said before I had been diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis, which actually didn't have too much of an affect on me during my pregnancy with Justin. Afterwards is a different story though.
Anyway, the moment he turned 7 weeks old, Justin started throwing everything up, valiantly too. Took him to his pedi and some how my healthy boy turned into a very sick little boy. He had gotten a tummy bug ON TOP of GERD. After a weeks stay in a hospital, he was released. He had to go with Nana ( my mom). Daddy and I were in the middle of moving from one place to another during this week stay in the hospital so Nana came and sat with him and they released him to her. Nana took Justin home and got him on this awful schedule of alternating 2oz formula then 2oz pedialite every 2 hrs. This child went from 8oz easy every 3 hrs to this? yeah I was so not gunna get that! Nana, have worked in pediatrics for many years was a life saver and got it working with in one night!
Nanna brought Justin home to me at our new house ( which we had gotten everything moved to in one night) on my first Mother's day. Bitter sweet in some ways but I'm very thankful she did that!
From that point on till around 3 yrs old, Justin was on so many medications for infections, acid problems, allergies....on and on and on, it never seemed to end!
But during all this, Justin's growth was crazy normal, even advanced in so many areas! By 18 months old, he knew all his shapes, colors, nearly all his letters and sounds and was speaking in complete sentences to us. I had a smart little boy!!! But he was crazy wild! Everyone would say that he was just a typical boy. And in some ways I do believe that, but looking back now, all the signs were there. He was a 'problem child' in head start at 3. THREE dude! Really? What 3 yr old boy should be expected to sit there and learn his colors when he can organize his colors AND pick out the word for that color already? Well, other problems started up as well.....
Justin's legs didn't like to work right. The ortho doc said it was an 'abnormal ability' to rotate his hips inward. Well this 'ability' caused many problems for him. He was very clumsy, always falling over the door thresh holds, and often falling into the door facing. And he did one day, his doctor already knew it too so she had our back, but the school wanted to make a larger deal out of it accusing us of mistreating our son. Our pediatrician said take him out! He knew everything they taught anyway, the school was suggesting medication for my 3 yr old and the pediatrician was not happy about that. Nor were we!
So Justin was pulled out of head start and I continued to teach him at home. Soon his youngest brother was on the way and we were in for a big move to a bigger town, larger opportunities and boy...another twist in our life is on the way! Not only do we have Justin, then Landin and now Cadin on the way, we're getting full custody of Caishon's ( my husband and Daddy to the boys ;-) ) first child from a previous marriage....we're going from 2 kids to 4 BOYS AND moving 3 counties away all in 6 months. Shew, I'm tired again just thinking about it!
Well we get moved, Cadin comes and the boys start a new school year in our new home, town and schools. Busy Bears. Mrs. Brazil. the best thing that every happened to Justin! Mrs Brazil saw in Justin some issues that she would work with. I mean this woman could see Justin's heart, could see into his mind and get through to him! During his pre-school year, Justin became violent with others, very off the charts hyper ( seriously, the center who tested him said he scored off their charts for hyper personality disorders and were concerned FOR US! really? for us? he's 4 dude...) and all this resulted in him being put on medication while turning 5.
The medication worked. He went from literally not being able to walk from the couch to the kitchen because of his impulsive jumping and running to stepping off the couch and walking with complete control, get his drink and walk back and sit down next to me. And mind was so open, He had just turned 5 and was conversating as though he was 10. Very in control and intelligent despite his testing results of just a lower end of the scale IQ. It stayed that way for about 7 months, then the problems started back up, calls from school, complaints from other mothers, and noting being done with his so-called IEP at the new school he started with for Kindergarten. The typical response was 'i think he needs his meds increased'....yeah said by the teacher to my face. Thanks, you have a nice day too.....
Well i call for the meds to be increased and they tell me 'he is too young for that med'...WHAT! He's been on them for months now....apparent;y his insurance decided to change things up. So they said they could give him another medication, and just the mear sound of its name sent me into uncontrollable tears...
For 3 days Justin didn't go school, he no medication and he couldn't be in a classroom setting at all. there was just something about classrooms and all the children that would set him off into these rants or uncontrollable movements and actions. i didn't know what I was going to do....everything seemed hopeless.
Enter homeschooling........
Through online mommies website ( CAFEMOM) I found out that I could keep him home, off meds and legally teach him myself. And so I did. this lead to us pulling out his older brother as well, Anthony.
Okay so I'm going try to just scan some highlights here. Justin did great the first 2 yrs of being home. the 3rd year left us scratching our heads and wondering what the heck has happened....
now the first year I traditionally home schooled Justin. the next year we found about the K12 program through the state of Georgia, Georgia Cyber Academy, and it was accredited, had teachers, all the lesson plans already there ( WOO HOO!!! thats my sorta thing! I hated doing lesson plans!) and it was FREE!!! It was a Charter School, cool never heard of that. But Justin could get extra help and not fall behind this way. I took a year to get to know my son ( which i will write about soon, its crazy how much you learn you don't know about your kid till you're with them 24/7) and now I could use some help with teaching. GCA rocked my world in the best way a school could :-)
Back to head scratching..... all of sudden Justin stopped progressing in reading and was barely writing even his name ( this is the 2nd yr of 1st grade mind you! it took us 2 years to finish up 1st grade, not right...) and started acting strange....
Twisting his hair when nervous, rubbing eyes when he felt he was failing at task, shutting down to the point of depression from simple tasks not being completed. There were times he would seem to shut a door in head, locking it and throwing the key away. No talking, just crying quietly, twisting his hair and sticking in his ears ( his hair was long) and fidgeting with his fingers, tapping things....i started to loose my baby boy and everything in side me screamed out for God! Then through friends who are teachers of special education children we came to guesses at all the things going on with him. We went for testing privately, not waiting on our school to do it ( been there done that got burned), not saying GCA would have done that but the teacher we had who was supposed to pick up where the teacher who is tied with Mrs Brazil for the best year ever for Justin, Ms Blackwell ( because they could get into his head and communicate with him) left off, didn't do what was needed at the time. No worries though we got it done faster than the school could do it anyway because of all the red tape so to say that has to be jumped through. So Justin went for testing......
Weeks later and almost half way into the 2nd grade, our boy was diagnosed with Asperger's, clinically severe ADHD, mood adjustment disorder with depressed mood....Justin has been diagnosed with an actual mental 'thing'. I couldn't wrap my mind around it.....and so the research really began.
Now for whats happening now. Justin takes medication for the ADHD and focusing. This seriously helps him maintain control of his impulsiveness that tends to run his life when he doesn't take it. He has to take it every day. One day missed and he can't control anything in his own mind and it really frustrates him.
Justin is doing so much better on his school work now too. He's almost to grade level ( that he's in now not the grade he should be in) in reading and just the other day multi-digit subtraction with re-grouping CLICKED! If only you knew what this means for him! this is like someone swimming the English Channel! Its HUGH for him!
Justin loves Science and History. He is a National Geographic, Discovery, Animal Planet BUFF! He plans to be a vet for ASPCA one day! And I encourage that! He is so smart when it comes to wildlife or insects ( YUCK FOR THIS MAMA!). He amazes me at his knowledge of 'things'... :-)
So far, Justin is only doing one type of therapy. horses...and he has made strides in his ways of doing things or handling things....and its been a month at this point. He loves riding and is touching the horses while grooming and saddling them. that's important, trust me. He has sensory issues as well....but he's working on them beautifully!
Well that about catches us up to now. I know that was long but the next posts I make, I them to be about our days and appointments and what not. Just our every day lives.....
Thank you again for reading, that was a lot.....until next time...
May the road rise up to meet you, may the wind be ever at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face and the rain fall softly on your fields. And until we meet again, May God hold you in the hollow of his hand.
~~ Abbey
There's several years of catching up to do here. I'll do my best to catch you up in a short amount of time.
When Justin was born, he was so very healthy! Beautiful in every way a coned-headed baby boy who scared us into think he was coming every 3 to 4 days for 9 weeks while his daddy was in the police academy and couldn't get to me could be! HAHA yes I called him cone-head...the very first words I ever said to him was 'OH look at your little coned-head!" with tears in my eyes, I kissed my new born baby boy and told him 'Shh, Mama's here baby'...and as though he understood, he stopped crying and just let me hold him. He was perfect.
When Justin turned 7 weeks old he was already drinking 8oz of formula around every 3 hrs or so. He had a very healthy hunger for that stuff! i couldn't breastfeed him because I had to go back on my Viox ( before it was recalled) and it was very unsafe for him to have, being that it would have passed through to him. Like I said before I had been diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis, which actually didn't have too much of an affect on me during my pregnancy with Justin. Afterwards is a different story though.
Anyway, the moment he turned 7 weeks old, Justin started throwing everything up, valiantly too. Took him to his pedi and some how my healthy boy turned into a very sick little boy. He had gotten a tummy bug ON TOP of GERD. After a weeks stay in a hospital, he was released. He had to go with Nana ( my mom). Daddy and I were in the middle of moving from one place to another during this week stay in the hospital so Nana came and sat with him and they released him to her. Nana took Justin home and got him on this awful schedule of alternating 2oz formula then 2oz pedialite every 2 hrs. This child went from 8oz easy every 3 hrs to this? yeah I was so not gunna get that! Nana, have worked in pediatrics for many years was a life saver and got it working with in one night!
Nanna brought Justin home to me at our new house ( which we had gotten everything moved to in one night) on my first Mother's day. Bitter sweet in some ways but I'm very thankful she did that!
From that point on till around 3 yrs old, Justin was on so many medications for infections, acid problems, allergies....on and on and on, it never seemed to end!
But during all this, Justin's growth was crazy normal, even advanced in so many areas! By 18 months old, he knew all his shapes, colors, nearly all his letters and sounds and was speaking in complete sentences to us. I had a smart little boy!!! But he was crazy wild! Everyone would say that he was just a typical boy. And in some ways I do believe that, but looking back now, all the signs were there. He was a 'problem child' in head start at 3. THREE dude! Really? What 3 yr old boy should be expected to sit there and learn his colors when he can organize his colors AND pick out the word for that color already? Well, other problems started up as well.....
Justin's legs didn't like to work right. The ortho doc said it was an 'abnormal ability' to rotate his hips inward. Well this 'ability' caused many problems for him. He was very clumsy, always falling over the door thresh holds, and often falling into the door facing. And he did one day, his doctor already knew it too so she had our back, but the school wanted to make a larger deal out of it accusing us of mistreating our son. Our pediatrician said take him out! He knew everything they taught anyway, the school was suggesting medication for my 3 yr old and the pediatrician was not happy about that. Nor were we!
So Justin was pulled out of head start and I continued to teach him at home. Soon his youngest brother was on the way and we were in for a big move to a bigger town, larger opportunities and boy...another twist in our life is on the way! Not only do we have Justin, then Landin and now Cadin on the way, we're getting full custody of Caishon's ( my husband and Daddy to the boys ;-) ) first child from a previous marriage....we're going from 2 kids to 4 BOYS AND moving 3 counties away all in 6 months. Shew, I'm tired again just thinking about it!
Well we get moved, Cadin comes and the boys start a new school year in our new home, town and schools. Busy Bears. Mrs. Brazil. the best thing that every happened to Justin! Mrs Brazil saw in Justin some issues that she would work with. I mean this woman could see Justin's heart, could see into his mind and get through to him! During his pre-school year, Justin became violent with others, very off the charts hyper ( seriously, the center who tested him said he scored off their charts for hyper personality disorders and were concerned FOR US! really? for us? he's 4 dude...) and all this resulted in him being put on medication while turning 5.
The medication worked. He went from literally not being able to walk from the couch to the kitchen because of his impulsive jumping and running to stepping off the couch and walking with complete control, get his drink and walk back and sit down next to me. And mind was so open, He had just turned 5 and was conversating as though he was 10. Very in control and intelligent despite his testing results of just a lower end of the scale IQ. It stayed that way for about 7 months, then the problems started back up, calls from school, complaints from other mothers, and noting being done with his so-called IEP at the new school he started with for Kindergarten. The typical response was 'i think he needs his meds increased'....yeah said by the teacher to my face. Thanks, you have a nice day too.....
Well i call for the meds to be increased and they tell me 'he is too young for that med'...WHAT! He's been on them for months now....apparent;y his insurance decided to change things up. So they said they could give him another medication, and just the mear sound of its name sent me into uncontrollable tears...
For 3 days Justin didn't go school, he no medication and he couldn't be in a classroom setting at all. there was just something about classrooms and all the children that would set him off into these rants or uncontrollable movements and actions. i didn't know what I was going to do....everything seemed hopeless.
Enter homeschooling........
Through online mommies website ( CAFEMOM) I found out that I could keep him home, off meds and legally teach him myself. And so I did. this lead to us pulling out his older brother as well, Anthony.
Okay so I'm going try to just scan some highlights here. Justin did great the first 2 yrs of being home. the 3rd year left us scratching our heads and wondering what the heck has happened....
now the first year I traditionally home schooled Justin. the next year we found about the K12 program through the state of Georgia, Georgia Cyber Academy, and it was accredited, had teachers, all the lesson plans already there ( WOO HOO!!! thats my sorta thing! I hated doing lesson plans!) and it was FREE!!! It was a Charter School, cool never heard of that. But Justin could get extra help and not fall behind this way. I took a year to get to know my son ( which i will write about soon, its crazy how much you learn you don't know about your kid till you're with them 24/7) and now I could use some help with teaching. GCA rocked my world in the best way a school could :-)
Back to head scratching..... all of sudden Justin stopped progressing in reading and was barely writing even his name ( this is the 2nd yr of 1st grade mind you! it took us 2 years to finish up 1st grade, not right...) and started acting strange....
Twisting his hair when nervous, rubbing eyes when he felt he was failing at task, shutting down to the point of depression from simple tasks not being completed. There were times he would seem to shut a door in head, locking it and throwing the key away. No talking, just crying quietly, twisting his hair and sticking in his ears ( his hair was long) and fidgeting with his fingers, tapping things....i started to loose my baby boy and everything in side me screamed out for God! Then through friends who are teachers of special education children we came to guesses at all the things going on with him. We went for testing privately, not waiting on our school to do it ( been there done that got burned), not saying GCA would have done that but the teacher we had who was supposed to pick up where the teacher who is tied with Mrs Brazil for the best year ever for Justin, Ms Blackwell ( because they could get into his head and communicate with him) left off, didn't do what was needed at the time. No worries though we got it done faster than the school could do it anyway because of all the red tape so to say that has to be jumped through. So Justin went for testing......
Weeks later and almost half way into the 2nd grade, our boy was diagnosed with Asperger's, clinically severe ADHD, mood adjustment disorder with depressed mood....Justin has been diagnosed with an actual mental 'thing'. I couldn't wrap my mind around it.....and so the research really began.
Now for whats happening now. Justin takes medication for the ADHD and focusing. This seriously helps him maintain control of his impulsiveness that tends to run his life when he doesn't take it. He has to take it every day. One day missed and he can't control anything in his own mind and it really frustrates him.
Justin is doing so much better on his school work now too. He's almost to grade level ( that he's in now not the grade he should be in) in reading and just the other day multi-digit subtraction with re-grouping CLICKED! If only you knew what this means for him! this is like someone swimming the English Channel! Its HUGH for him!
Justin loves Science and History. He is a National Geographic, Discovery, Animal Planet BUFF! He plans to be a vet for ASPCA one day! And I encourage that! He is so smart when it comes to wildlife or insects ( YUCK FOR THIS MAMA!). He amazes me at his knowledge of 'things'... :-)
So far, Justin is only doing one type of therapy. horses...and he has made strides in his ways of doing things or handling things....and its been a month at this point. He loves riding and is touching the horses while grooming and saddling them. that's important, trust me. He has sensory issues as well....but he's working on them beautifully!
Well that about catches us up to now. I know that was long but the next posts I make, I them to be about our days and appointments and what not. Just our every day lives.....
Thank you again for reading, that was a lot.....until next time...
May the road rise up to meet you, may the wind be ever at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face and the rain fall softly on your fields. And until we meet again, May God hold you in the hollow of his hand.
~~ Abbey
Its time to start.....
Hey to all!
I'm Abbey, Justin's mom. I started this blog months ago but never started writing in it. Not sure why really, maybe it was the fear of knowing I'm writing about something that so many people don't understand or dare I say even don't care to understand. Its easy to say that a child is a 'bad' kid, or that the parent needs to discipline the child who's acting out unruly.
But what would happen if that judgmental person stopped and thought about why the child was acting out, or touching everything on the shelf at the store and knocking stuff over. I never thought to stop and think....I was that passer-by that looked at the parent and thought "if i were you, I'd put that kid over my knee and MAKE them behave".
Well, Its not that simple anymore and I don't look at the parent in judgement anymore either, now I ask myself I wonder whats going on inside the child's head. And most importantly, I feel heart broken for the parent, not sure if there is something going on, how the parent must feel...sure sometimes the kid IS being unruly and needs some attention and it is the parents that need to take action against a miss behaving child. But all too often these days, that child actually has something going on and the parent has no clue as what to do.
Hopeless is how they feel. I know this feeling.
My hopes in this blog is that another parent. like myself, comes across it ( much like I did with another family's blog about their son, who helped me understand I"M NOT ALONE!) and gets some hope or understanding. Maybe just the simple fact that they aren't alone either will bring a little bit of hope back into their chaotic life.
Chaos....what a word! Wikipedia places the English definition of "a very specific kind of unpredictability; and informally to mean a state of confusion". This is absolutely right for our family, for Justin's state of being. Our life ( a family as a whole) experiences this a lot. I'm not sure if others would express their lives this way, but for us this is the best description.
here's the low-down on Justin. He just turned 9, he loves the color blue, LOVES animals and insects, rides horses for therapy, he can't swim well but loves to be in water, loves music and cartoons, adores singing, Justin loves playing his Wii ( well duh! what 9 yr old boys doesn't love playing video games right?!). Justin is in his own little world most of the time. have heard the song by Matthew West titled
My own little World? That's him, till God sets his mind at ease, then he lets us in for a while. Another song by JJ Heller Who will love me for me.... is how I see him. The first time I heard her sing this song ( over KLOVE) I cried and thought about Justin....
I thought about Justin...... how different he must feel, knowing he is different in so many ways. I've seen him try to play with others and they reject him because he's interested in something different than they are. I know they don't understand and how do you get another child to understand that weird guy that talks about bugs during football? Odds are I've tried every thing to get Justin to ask about other kids during play time and not focus on himself, but nothing works really. Now Justin can have a great time with other kids who know and understand him and they can get him to accomplish so many things that I can't get him to do. So he has his friends who care for him and are pacient for the most part with him.
I have a a little cousin who is close in age to Justin who has Aspergers as well, Garrett. Justin met him this past year when the family got together for celebrating our Nanny's birthday. He and Garrett got a long so well! It was through Garrett and his mom ( Melanie) that I was able to see what the doctors had been suggesting, but Garrett and Mel showed me how normal and typical Justin could be with the right treatments and therapies. It was all going to be in what we found worked for him.
Well I'm going to end this post here. I'll probably post again tonight or very soon. Justin has had a few more challenges pop up in his life and has had blood drawn for a full arthritis panel, Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis. i was diagnosed with it at 17, my mother ( Justin's Nana) has RA as well.....but all this is another blog for later ;-)
God bless you for reading this.....until next time....
May the road rise up to meet you, may the wind be ever at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face and the rain fall softly on your fields. And until we meet again, May God hold you in the hollow of his hand.
~~Abbey
I'm Abbey, Justin's mom. I started this blog months ago but never started writing in it. Not sure why really, maybe it was the fear of knowing I'm writing about something that so many people don't understand or dare I say even don't care to understand. Its easy to say that a child is a 'bad' kid, or that the parent needs to discipline the child who's acting out unruly.
But what would happen if that judgmental person stopped and thought about why the child was acting out, or touching everything on the shelf at the store and knocking stuff over. I never thought to stop and think....I was that passer-by that looked at the parent and thought "if i were you, I'd put that kid over my knee and MAKE them behave".
Well, Its not that simple anymore and I don't look at the parent in judgement anymore either, now I ask myself I wonder whats going on inside the child's head. And most importantly, I feel heart broken for the parent, not sure if there is something going on, how the parent must feel...sure sometimes the kid IS being unruly and needs some attention and it is the parents that need to take action against a miss behaving child. But all too often these days, that child actually has something going on and the parent has no clue as what to do.
Hopeless is how they feel. I know this feeling.
My hopes in this blog is that another parent. like myself, comes across it ( much like I did with another family's blog about their son, who helped me understand I"M NOT ALONE!) and gets some hope or understanding. Maybe just the simple fact that they aren't alone either will bring a little bit of hope back into their chaotic life.
Chaos....what a word! Wikipedia places the English definition of "a very specific kind of unpredictability; and informally to mean a state of confusion". This is absolutely right for our family, for Justin's state of being. Our life ( a family as a whole) experiences this a lot. I'm not sure if others would express their lives this way, but for us this is the best description.
here's the low-down on Justin. He just turned 9, he loves the color blue, LOVES animals and insects, rides horses for therapy, he can't swim well but loves to be in water, loves music and cartoons, adores singing, Justin loves playing his Wii ( well duh! what 9 yr old boys doesn't love playing video games right?!). Justin is in his own little world most of the time. have heard the song by Matthew West titled
My own little World? That's him, till God sets his mind at ease, then he lets us in for a while. Another song by JJ Heller Who will love me for me.... is how I see him. The first time I heard her sing this song ( over KLOVE) I cried and thought about Justin....
I thought about Justin...... how different he must feel, knowing he is different in so many ways. I've seen him try to play with others and they reject him because he's interested in something different than they are. I know they don't understand and how do you get another child to understand that weird guy that talks about bugs during football? Odds are I've tried every thing to get Justin to ask about other kids during play time and not focus on himself, but nothing works really. Now Justin can have a great time with other kids who know and understand him and they can get him to accomplish so many things that I can't get him to do. So he has his friends who care for him and are pacient for the most part with him.
I have a a little cousin who is close in age to Justin who has Aspergers as well, Garrett. Justin met him this past year when the family got together for celebrating our Nanny's birthday. He and Garrett got a long so well! It was through Garrett and his mom ( Melanie) that I was able to see what the doctors had been suggesting, but Garrett and Mel showed me how normal and typical Justin could be with the right treatments and therapies. It was all going to be in what we found worked for him.
Well I'm going to end this post here. I'll probably post again tonight or very soon. Justin has had a few more challenges pop up in his life and has had blood drawn for a full arthritis panel, Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis. i was diagnosed with it at 17, my mother ( Justin's Nana) has RA as well.....but all this is another blog for later ;-)
God bless you for reading this.....until next time....
May the road rise up to meet you, may the wind be ever at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face and the rain fall softly on your fields. And until we meet again, May God hold you in the hollow of his hand.
~~Abbey
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